A few months ago I helped create a newsletter for my mom. It was about how you can influence luck to make your own happiness. According to Dr. James Austin there are four types. Here’s how I depicted them:

Random luck: Luck that stems from things out of your control, like where you were born or who your parents are.
Action-driven luck: Luck that you create when you hustle and focus your energy on something meaningful.
Experiential luck: Knowledge and experience that makes you more aware and prepares you to observe opportunities in front of you.
Unique luck: Luck that seeks you out based on your hobbies, lifestyle, or behavior.

Kind of a different way of viewing luck right? The first one is obvious, and can really impact the trajectory of our lives in ways we have no way of controlling. But the next three…it seems that getting lucky can be shaped by the choices we make, by the experiences we choose to have, and the people and activities we fill our lives with. That’s encouraging.

Here’s an example.

My fiance and I often say, “How did we get so lucky?.” But it wasn’t sheer dumb luck that led us to find one another. Here’s the recipe that led to my luck in finding him:

In college, one of my good friends was dating someone whose best friend, Bryian, had a lot of parties at his place.
I went to a couple of those parties, met some nice people, but eventually lost touch with them.
I started online dating after college.
I stuck with online dating (on and off) for many, many (painful) years.
One day, thanks to the encouragement of my best friend, I decided to lower the age range of the men I was willing to date.
Shortly after that, I came across the profile of this really cute guy named Vlad who was one year younger than me.
His profile had nice photos and good answers to the prompts that showed me we had similar values.
In one photo, guess who was there? …Bryian!
I figured, if Vlad knows Bryian, he’s probably a decent guy. At least not a total creep!
So I decided to match with him.
Almost two years later, we are happily engaged, and keep thinking to ourselves, “How did we get so lucky?”

So you see…remove just one bullet point from that list, and maybe everything changes? Maybe I don’t go to those parties and I don’t meet our mutual friend. Maybe I decide not to stick with online dating. Maybe I never lower the age range by one year, and Vlad never makes it through the algorithm…

There are so many choices we make that lead to getting lucky. The key is to never stop trying, never give up. Whatever it is you’re after, keep making choices that put one foot in front of the other. And one day you’ll run into that good luck and you’ll think: “How did I get so lucky?”

Well, now you know how.

If you want to read more from my mom’s newsletter, check it out here.

The Four Types of Luck